As I reflect on my own experience within the stages of group development, I am left in amazed and my heart is full of love and gratitude. Participating in this class presented an up-close-and-perosnal experience of the power that exists within group process. Although our group was familiar and somewhat connected, we traveled through each stage, testing boundaries of safety and trust. I see the reality that not all members move through or stay within the same stage together. Within the academic context, we became a group and traveled through each stage; we formed, we stormed, we worked hard, and we said goodbye. We supported each other through periods of struggle and pain, moving to a place where we were able to recognize our true capacity. Although were never rescued by our leaders, we were never left to drowned. Rather, Dawn and Gabrielle threw us each a life preserver and encouraged us to swim. They believed that we had the capacity to survive and save ourself. As we treaded water, we were invited to --- growing exponentially, more than I had ever thought possible. We were not rescued, but we were never, ever alone. 

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Personally, I came into this week of summer institute feeling disconnected with the majority of my classmates. I was close with two peers but did not truly feel any alliance among the group as a whole. I was somewhat bitter and resentful of how others described our cohort as 'one-big-happy-family' as my truth was different. Being my third cohort in this program, I felt like an outsider but know now that this was a projection of my own fears and apprehensions and not a reflection of how my peers saw me at all. They had accepted me willingly and openly - it was up to me to be willing to accept what was being offered. The photos of our group truly illustrate how I felt. In the first photo, I am withdrawn, pushed to the sidelines, and hidden behind others. I felt exactly how I look in this picture - minimized, separate, and alone. Comparatively, the second group photo illustrates a completely state of belonging. The changes and personal growth is evident; it is projected within this photograph. In only one week, by inviting vulnerability and trusting in the process as we moved through the stages of group development I allowed myself to see that I was the barrier to finding a place within my cohort.

I am happy and confident within my group. I found my place and allowed myself to shine. I recognize that it was never someone else's responsibility to create a space where I could feel welcome; it was my job to let myself become vulnerable and take the risk to create a space for myself. My place of belonging was always within me and it was up to me to find.